Chapter Seventeen: My Life HereAfter by Rosaline Saul

The sun starts to hide between the tops of the trees on the cliff beside us and the faces surrounding us start to get a nervous look about them. I turn my face up to the last rays of the sun and as I feel the sun on my face, and the trees above us, I wonder why they all seem so afraid of the coming night. Even though this is technically the other side, the side of agony and despair, it still is beautiful. A small breeze plays with my hair and the air feels fresh in my lungs. At this moment, I do not feel as if I am stranded in a place away from my family. I do not consider the possibility of never ever seeing my parents again.

How long have we been here? Days? Months? Years? Is time distorted here? All I know is I have been given a second chance, and I should not waste it.

David’s voice interrupts my solemn thoughts, “We need to get inside if we want to survive another night.”

“Maybe we should try to get back instead,” I suggest. “If, as you say, the path we came down with will be gone in the morning, don’t you think it’s wise if we leave now to go back to the other side?”

He looks at me with an amused grin. “Through that forest?”

“You keep saying it’s dangerous here, so that’s where we need to go if we want to survive.”

“Do you now suddenly think you're in charge here? The one who caused us all to be here in the first place?”

“We need to get back,” I insist. “And if we want to get there before dark, we need to leave now.”

“How long did it take you to get here, Sunel? A day? Two?”

“Two days, but we got lost. We know the way now.”

“Do you? Do you really?”

He is making me angry and the little man on my shoulder is gone. No snarky comments enter my head. “Actually, I do.”

“Did we not tell you it all changes every night. We have already sent some of us up there to find a way out, and they have not yet returned. Ominous, don’t you think?”

“We all need to go together.” If, as he says, I am to blame for all of us being here, then I will have to step up and be braver. I will have to be the one to save all of us still here.

Mark says to me, “It’s late and it will be dark soon, maybe we stay the night and then we can all leave at first light.”

I glance up at him, unsure.

“You still trust me?”

“Yeah. So tomorrow we leave?”

“I’ve got a question,” David interrupts our conversation. “Even if you get back to the other side, are you going to become good people suddenly, get a job as a guardian angel, if you’re lucky, maybe have to sort out other people’s problems for the rest of your miserable existence.”

Mark and I look at each other.

David mumbles, “Note to self, next time be the one who saves the girl.”

“Yeah, as if.” Even though the little man on my shoulder has not yet had the decency to return to his post, I am happy my sarcasm is back.

David turns away from us to walk to the opposite side of the fire. He asks Rudi, who is poking a stick at the fire to get it to burn brighter, “What the hell are you doing?”

“We're warming ourselves, what does it look like we’re doing?” One of the boys says without looking up at him.

“It looks like you're trying to get us all killed. It’s time to put out that fire and head inside.”

“There’s still time,” Rudi complains. “The others aren’t back yet.”

“Do you think this is a game? This is for real, forever, and ever. We can take care of ourselves, can't we? We don’t need them. Those aren't our friends out there. If it was between them and us, who do you think will be the first to be sacrificed?”

Rudi insists, “We won't survive here on our own.”

As if on cue, a large group of people appear from between the trees. The one in the front yells something I cannot hear properly.

David says, “There’re laws to abide by and now we’re all in trouble.”

Rudi complains, “Here, there are no laws. It’s only his rules.” He says the word his with disdain.

The group of people walks closer and then surround us. The leader of the pack, a burly older man with red-rimmed eyes and hair that has not seen shampoo in a very, very long time asks brashly, “When you scrawny rats arrived here, I laid down the laws and this fire is still going.” He demands, “Put it out immediately and get your sorry asses back inside.”

James gets up from his seated position and threatens the man who had just arrived, “Here, we do whatever the hell we want, whenever the hell we want to do it.”

The man smirks and turns his head a little so he is talking across his shoulder to the large scary looking people behind him. “A brave one, we have here.” He turns back to James. “Guess who’s going to appease the gods tonight.”

A girl with tangled, used to be blonde hair cackles loudly from behind the mean looking man. “Now, you might not like it, James.”

James says, “You’ll have to kill me first.”

The leader of the pack says, “Don’t test me, boy.”

With submission, the other boys and girls around the fire stand up from their sitting positions, and resignedly they start to put the fire out by scooping up hands full of dirt and throwing it over the flames and glowing embers.

When the fire is out, we follow the large group toward the large corrugated buildings. As we reach each building, a group of people separates themselves and then go into the building.

Mark asks David, who is walking beside him, “What are these buildings for?”

“When we first arrived, we were divided into them.”

“What do the letters above the doors mean?” I glance at David nervously.

David smirks. “There is a building for one of each of the seven deadly sins. The one we just passed was Luxuria, which is Latin for lust.”

“Lust?” Carly asks with a frown.

“Yeah. Like having an immense physical attraction to another person, which is sometimes uncontrollable and completely unreasonable.” He glances in my direction quickly. “A feeling often confused with love, but it isn’t love if you don't wish to have anything other than to have sex with that person.”

Sarcastically I say, “Well, then that’s the building where you belong, isn’t it? You slept with girls at school without even really caring about them.”

He ignores me. “This one we are walking beside now is Gula and it means Gluttony. A home for those who have a limitless appetite for food and drink and overindulgence. It’s a different kind of lust, in my opinion. One where a person no longer eats to live, but rather lives to eat.”

I look at the people walking into the large doors of the building and try to see if I can put the label of Gluten on them, but I cannot. Even though some of them appear overweight, some don’t.

“This one is Superbia and is associated with pride. A feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction with one's own achievements and being admired by others.”

Yet another building where I feel David belongs. So far all the buildings I have seen does not represent a sin I have sinned and I wonder which one I would have become a member of if I had been sent here in the beginning. I look back at the building we are walking past, and I must admit I do yearn to be admired by others, because why else would I always try to be funny and play pranks? I do it because I want other people to like me, and to love me, and to appreciate me. How can that be a sin, though, and, besides, who does not have those very same desires, so I seriously doubt it would be a sin I will be found guilty of. It is not as if I obsessed over it, did I? I convince myself I do not belong to the House of Superbia.

“We won’t be walking past the last one in the front,” David says as we split off from a group of people to walk around the corner of the building called Superbia. “The last one on the front is the House of Avaritia, where greedy people belong. They have an excessive desire to acquire or possess more than what they will ever need or deserve. I guess they learned the hard way when you die, earthly possession cannot be taken with you.” He utters a cynical chuckle.

There is one I definitely could have started calling home if I was sent here straight from the reception building. I have always wanted more than I have ever needed. More attention from my parents, more of everything the rich folk up on the hill had, but I still do not think the things I wanted is more than I deserve to have. Why would I not deserve everything I ever wanted? Am I not as deserving as they are? What makes them better than me?

We walk between the two large buildings toward the three we saw in between the four in the front when we arrived. I look up and all I can see is a sliver of blue sky above me. I am starting to feel a little claustrophobic with the two large imposing buildings on either side of me.

At last, we walk out from between the two buildings, and David continues to explain the names allocated to each one of the buildings, “There is also, Acedia, for Sloth and it refers to laziness and apathy.”

Rudi adds from behind me, “Like being physically and emotionally inactive.”

“Not taking part in anything, in other words?” Carly asks.

“Yeah, sort of,” Rudi confirms as he walks away from us to join the group entering the large double doors.

I am not lazy, but sometimes I do feel a certain kind of boredom with life, a sort of indifference to the things happening around me. Would this building have made the perfect home for me? Is this why in the beginning, in the large white room where we arrived, I was the one who was called to fetch Rudi from the front? Is it because Rudi and I are kindred spirits in our shared lack of interest in the people around us? When I played pranks on people, whether it is the little man on my shoulder’s fault or not, was it to alleviate the dullness of me?

David carries on speaking while we continue walking, “This one is called, Invidia.” He sweeps his hand in the direction of the building. “Envy is basically a longing to possess something that has been awarded to or is achieved by another person. Not to be confused with jealousy. Jealousy is more a feeling of resentment when someone has gained something you feel you rightfully deserve.”

Envy. How many times have I looked up at the houses shimmering in the sunlight against the hill in our small town and envied the people who live in them? They were all happy people. Kids with parents who never fought, people with money to buy the things they wanted or needed without having to wait for the monthly pay date. David said envy is not to be confused with jealousy, but I disagree, jealousy feeds envy and without jealousy, there cannot be envy.

We reach the last building and I wonder what the name above the door means. Ira. From the initial group, there are now only a few of us left.

“Home sweet home,” David announces as he starts to walk through the large entrance. “By definition, it means strong, stern, or fierce anger; a deep resentful indignation.”

Mark asks, “Where do we go?”

David looks back across his shoulder. “You and Carly can join us. Seeing as you weren’t allocated a specific brand of sin, I guess you can go join any one of us. Choose one, but be quick about it, the doors will be closing soon. It’s almost dark.”

“And me?” I ask.

He gives me a quick, condescending glance. “You can stay outside, for all I care.”

Mark folds his hand around my elbow. “Sunel comes with me.”

“Suit yourself,” David says as he carries on walking into the building.

Continue reading Chapter 18/25

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