Chapter Twenty-Four: My Life HereAfter by Rosaline Saul

It has been two months since I have seen Mark and David. Their parents took them away on a holiday so they can connect as a family again.

I think about David often. Since I can remember I had a crush on him, but never did I even entertain the idea he even noticed me, so when he declared he loved me, I was shocked and still I cannot believe it really.

Even though I killed my demon, even though I no longer hear its voice in my ear, I still sometimes feel insecure. Sometimes when I look in the mirror, I still wish I did not have as many freckles as I do. Sometimes, even though my demon is dead, its voice still echoes in my mind.

I see Carly now and again, and she is happy to be alive, to be back with her mum. She has accepted her dad’s death and has helped her mum to recover as well. Even though she never got that guardian angel training, she is a natural born guardian angel.

From a bus of sixty school kids, eighteen survived and justifiably our small town is still in mourning.

With every penny of my savings and with my parents adding the difference, I bought myself a telescope and I spend most of my time looking up at the stars now. I like looking up at the stars. Maybe I am looking for Heaven.

I hear my dad open the front door when the doorbell chimes and then I hear David’s voice. My heart literally stops beating for a second or maybe two. I rush out of my bedroom and down the stairs, I must stop my dad before he invites him in. It is a good thing we have not seen each other or spoken to each other for two months. Mainly, I did not want to and secondly, I did not want to.

David offers his hand to my dad, “Hi. David Landon.”

My dad shakes his hand reluctantly, eyeing him closely.

David is wearing his trademark white T-shirt and dark jeans. I notice his James Dean swagger and nonchalant manner is back.

“Can I help you?” My dad asks.

David says, “I was hoping to see Sunel.”

“I don’t think so, David Landon. You don’t know me, but I know all about you. Sunel doesn’t need the likes of you in her life. Not right now, not ever.”

“Dad,” I say, and he turns in the doorway to look at me where I have come to a standstill at the bottom of the steps.

He raises his eyebrows and asks, “You want to see him?”

“It’s okay, Dad.” I walk to the door and then move past my dad. “We’ll just be out here.”

My dad locks his eyes with David. His message is as clear as daylight.

“This way,” I say to David as we step outside.

Without saying a word, we walk around the house to my back garden, and then we climb up a set of stairs leading to a balcony outside my window.

“Very convenient for late night visits,” David jokes.

“I’m not that kind of girl,” I say seriously. “My dad built it for me after the accident, so I can see the stars clearer without having to do it through my bedroom window.” I look up at the star-filled sky. “When all the lights are off, it’s so dark and quiet out here, it feels as if I can see into a world beyond the stars.”

He walks to the telescope on the tripod just outside my open bedroom window. “And this?” He asks.

“My telescope,” I say proudly.

David looks through the eyepiece.

“Sometimes I come here and just search…”

“For Heaven?” He asks as he looks up at me.

I lean against the balcony and he comes to stand next to me. He asks softly, “Do you believe in God?”

“Don’t you?”

“But do you think about God… And Heaven?”

“Don’t you ever wonder why things happen the way they do?” I glance in his direction.

“Sometimes.”

“After the accident, I better understand that there's a plan for everyone, but mostly I don't understand what the message is when things happen the way they do, or even what the point is sometimes.”

“There’s no point. We’ve been given a second chance and we shouldn’t waste it, that’s all there is to it,” he says.

“I’ve been thinking, though, maybe we aren’t supposed to know or understand the reasons. Maybe we are only supposed to have faith that there is someone who sees the bigger picture and knows all the answers.”

“And believe this someone is doing everything in our best interest, in the end?”

“Don’t you believe after the accident?”

“Remember, I didn’t go to the good side, all I know is I did not have to die, and I didn’t go to Hell. That is all I’m happy about, to tell you the truth.”

My dad walks into my bedroom and comes to stand at the open window, he looks out at us on the balcony. Without looking at me, and staring at David, he says, “Your mum asks if she can bring you anything to drink.”

I smile at him. “No thanks, Dad. David is not staying long.”

After my dad leaves my bedroom, leaving the door open, David leans closer to me, his shoulder rubbing against mine. He whispers, and I can feel his breath against my ear, “Your dad doesn't like me.”

“It’s because he doesn’t trust you. Before the accident, you had a reputation.”

“Sometimes I still don’t trust me.” His shoulder is still close to mine, and he nudges me. “So, now you’ve been given a second chance, besides looking for Heaven, do you have any plans. Any future plans?”

“Like what?” I smile nervously, hoping he is not going to mention he loves me again. I know he doesn’t. Not really. He was just confused.

“Well, I’ve made this list of things I want to do.”

I joke, “Like a to-do list.”

“Yeah. Bet you’re impressed now.”

I laugh. “Actually, I am, who would have thought.”

Slowly he leans in closer to me and then he kisses me. I could have turned my face, I could have stepped away, but I wanted him to kiss me. Something deeper within me, maybe my soul, wanted to feel his lips on mine again.

Slowly I pull away from him and then he tries to make eye contact with me, but I look down at the garden below. Leaning my upper body over the railing. “So, what’s first on your list of things to do?” I ask him.

“To kiss you.”

I feel my cheeks turn red.

“But like a proper kiss.”

I need to change the subject, so I ask, “Are you happier at home now since you’re back?”

He pulls back, straightening his arms while keeping his hands on the railing. “Since the accident, I feel more content in my own skin, so, yeah, I am a lot happier. I am not so angry anymore. Mark is still a pain, but a pain I am willing to live with. And you? How are you?”

I straighten up and look up at the stars again. “I am good.”

“Did you ever get to speak to your mum about your biological father?”

Without looking down from the stars, I say, “I did, and it’s not as if I am suddenly going to want to find him. I am happy with the way things are.”

“And how do you feel about your freckles now?”

From the corner of my eye, I see his hand come up to touch my face, so I shy away and take a few steps away from him.

He steps closer to me. “You are beautiful, Sunel. I love those freckles.”

Behind us, my dad comes walking into my bedroom again. “It’s time for dinner, Sunel, and time for David to leave.”

“I’ll be in now, Dad,” I tell him.

After my dad leaves the room again, David says, “I do love you, you know. I have loved you for a long time and it’s not going to disappear just because you don’t feel the same way or because you keep denying it.”

“I think it’s all lies.”

“Which parts? The part where you are beautiful, or the part where I love you?”

“All of it.”

“It's not.”

“Prove it.”

“I think you know you’re beautiful, but you’ve believed so long you’re not, you are still trying to convince yourself you are. It’s not in the way you see yourself, it is in the way others see you, and I am telling you, you are very pretty, and beyond words beautiful.”

I look at him amused.

“But what I really think is that you love me, but you are scared.”

“I have to go inside now, and you have to go home.”

“Will you go out with me? To the movies, maybe?”

“Yes, but not as a date.”

“Why not as a date?”

“My dad won’t allow me to date you. You are a boy with expectations.”

He laughs loudly and his hazel eyes light up with amusement. “That I am, but not the expectations he thinks I have, not anymore.”

I start to walk toward my open bedroom window and start to climb over the windowsill. I have one leg on the balcony and one leg on my bedroom carpet. “I have to go before he comes looking for me again.”

He starts to walk away toward the stairs. “Goodnight, Sunel. I’ll phone you.”

“Okay,” I call back, not expecting to receive a call from him.

When I walk into the dining room, the doorbell chimes. My dad pushes away from the table. “What’s going on tonight?” He opens the front door, and I hear him say unamused, “David?”

“Mr Anderson, I’d like to take Sunel to a movie on Friday night.”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“I’m sorry I haven’t always been nice to her, and I know she deserves better than me, but I care about her.”

“I don’t want to see her get hurt, and boys like you…”

David interrupts him, “I wouldn’t hurt her.”

“For a while, maybe a month or two.”

“I will never hurt her.”

My dad looks back over his shoulder at me where I am standing in the doorway to the hall. My fingers cramp as I hold onto the door frame tightly. He turns back to look at David, “Have her back by eleven, and drive carefully.”

My dad moves to close the door and David has a clear view of me. He smiles a smile, which makes me smile and then he gives me a quick wink.

Continue reading Chapter 25/25

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